Archive for March, 2008

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Into the Wild

March 19, 2008

If BabbelOn took a backpack, a bag of rice and a survival manual and wandered into the wilderness without telling anyone where he was going, hardened readers would say he was crazy and deserving of everything he received, including possibly a lingering and lonely demise.

If BabbelOn was a 22 year old, good looking, intelligent middle-class American student (and who is to say he isn’t?), progressive readers might say that he was misguided and “looking for himself”.

If his misadventures became the subject of a New York Times Best Seller and a “Sean Penn Film”, soft-boiled readers would have to concede that he was perhaps, albeit posthumously, onto something. 

Christopher McCandless went looking for himself in Alaska in 1992, died of starvation three months later and has been immortalised in Into the Wild.

This film was nominated for two Oscars and numerous other awards.  (The ABC’s resident hobbit gave it 5 stars).  At the time that BabbelOn began scribing this post, the film was ranked the #245 best film of all time (by IMDB.com), putting it just ahead of Harold & Maude and behind Shaun of the Dead.  At last count, it had risen to a frankly astonishing #130, ranking it ahead of Die Hard, Annie Hall and Ben Hur and trailing not very far behind Gladiator.  (As at 7 April it is now #126 and has gone past Gladiator.)

BabbelOn is rarely moved to review movies but cannot let this one pass. 

Into The Wild is something of a departure for Sean Penn.  Cineaste readers will be familiar with his earlier films, The Indian Runner (with a young Viggo Mortensen), The Pledge (with an old Jack Nicholson) and even The Crossing Guard (with a not quite as old Jack Nicholson).  (Mr Penn enjoys working in “The” movie business apparently.)  Those films were violent, psychological fictions.  This one is a gently moving true story with a charismatic lead and nice scenery.  But pretty actors and Alaskan landscapes do not equal Ben Hur (let alone Die Hard).

The $22 question is - should one care about McCandless’s story? 

Before BabbelOn attempts to answer that question, a short detour into the plot is required (BabbelOn begs the indulgence of those readers who have seen the film or have not but are prepared to have it spoiled).  

After graduating from university, McCandless gave his college fund to charity, said so long to his family and drove his old Datsun into the desert in search of adventure (he called himself, without irony, ”Alexander Supertramp“).  

What was he running away from?  His family; in particular his parents.  He wasn’t beaten or threatened in any way.  In fact the worst thing his parents did to him was to offer to buy him a new car.  This was the catalyst for him to take off for good.  Admittedly there was parental abuse.  William Hurt and Marcia Gay Harden yelled at one another and he once held her tightly in the kitchen.  But the sin committed by Ma and Pa McCandless was that … they lied to young Chris.  It turns out that Pa had been married to someone else at the time he met Ma (gasp) and they weren’t married until some time after Chris and his sister were born which made them, technically, bastards.  BabbelOn wryly observes that if every kid whose parents had to get married in the ’60s decided to burn his money and hike into Alaska, Nome would have the population of, say, Los Angeles. 

The film’s voice-over is by Chris’s sister who loved him and put up with his aberrant behaviour and in return didn’t get so much as a postcard or a phone call.  In the film, McCandless thinks about calling home but then gives his dime (apparently his last one) to an old guy having his own short-changed crisis on the next pay phone. 

Our hero does not appear to have been running towards anything special either – despite his protestations about western materialism and his second-hand philosophy about nature and the simple life (he finds room in his backpack for Jack London and Thoreau.  Rimbaud must also have been in there somewhere).  What he really needed was a stack of books made out of edible paper or Jamie Oliver’s Moose and Wild Grass Salad recipes.

His longing for the far horizon apparently didn’t extend beyond continental USA.  His one foray across the border into Mexico ended quickly with him begging to be let back in, having burnt his social security card (presumably he never had a passport) along with his remaining cash and his bridges.

McCandless has some encounters on his road trip, with hippies and drug dealers and an old guy who shows him how to make a leather belt (adding holes to it becomes symbolic of his weight loss in Alaska).  The hippies are friendly and philosophical and try to gently guide him (“Don’t go to Alaska in the winter”).  But their efforts prove futile against the boy philosopher with the strong will and the chip on his shoulder. 

Naturally, there is romance of sorts as he is picked up by a 16 year old in the hippie camp.  She looks like a young Brooke Shields and sings like Jonie Mitchell but even she can’t stop his vision quest. 

After much dicking around, making enough money doing odd jobs to pay for his adventure, eventually he hikes into Alaska with a fishing rod (which apparently he didn’t know how to use), a knife, a pup-tent, a book on edible plants (apparently not many of which grow in Alaska) and his books.  No map, canoe, first aid kit or even water-proof boots.  His ego wouldn’t allow him to tell anyone where he was going or to ask for advice from an actual Alaskan. 

Incredibly for him, he finds an old bus in the middle of nowhere, which has been fitted out with a stove, bed and basic kitchen.  If he hadn’t lucked onto the bus, the film would have been an hour shorter (rather than 2 1/2 hours).  As it is, he survives shooting small game, wandering around, communing with nature. 

After three months he has worked through most of his issues (with the help of Thoreau and the boys) and decides to leave.  Tragically for our hero, the stream he waded across has now swollen with the melting snows (who would have thought it?)  So he is trapped.  No game around, no edible plants (although he does try some that make him sick).  So begins a downward spiral to starvation, hallucination and cult status. 

One of his last acts is to write in the margin of one of his books “Happiness is only real when it is shared” (with humans, not grizzlies). 

So, back to the $22 question ($10 on Tuesdays) – should one care about McCandless?

BabbelOn always enjoys answering a question with another one.  Would this film have been made if the boy had survived (say by hiking up the river to where it wasn’t so deep, or setting off a distress flare, or using a radio, or even learning how to use that fishing rod?)  Does a grizzly makes its toilet in the woods? 

Was he a hero?  Was his death a tragedy?  Probably.  It certainly seems inevitable with the benefit of hindsight.  What did he do with his life?  One is forced to conclude – not much.  How should he be remembered?  Was he an idealistic young artist, starving in his garret?  Or a selfish, narcissistic middle-class waster.  If nothing else, he is a warning to all would-be Grizzly Adams’s, the poster boy for the National Parks & Wildlife Service.   

Why don’t we let some actual Alaskans have the second last word?

Alaskan Park Ranger Peter Christian wrote: “I am exposed continually to what I will call the ‘McCandless Phenomenon.’ People, nearly always young men, come to Alaska to challenge themselves against an unforgiving wilderness landscape where convenience of access and possibility of rescue are practically nonexistent […] When you consider McCandless from my perspective, you quickly see that what he did wasn’t even particularly daring, just stupid, tragic, and inconsiderate. First off, he spent very little time learning how to actually live in the wild. He arrived at the Stampede Trail without even a map of the area. If he [had] had a good map he could have walked out of his predicament […] Essentially, Chris McCandless committed suicide.”

Judith Kleinfeld wrote in the Anchorage Daily News that “many Alaskans react with rage to his stupidity. You’d have to be a complete idiot, they say, to die of starvation in summer 20 miles off the Park’s Highway.” 

That’s good enough for BabbelOn.  Perhaps the only thing more wasteful than Christopher McCandless’s short young life was making it into a film. 

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Look Who’s Talking

March 13, 2008

BabbelOn is relieved to announce that former Australian Prime Minister John Howard has re-emerged into public life and declared that he has no plans to walk to Tibet to protest against Chinese human rights abuses.

Rather, in an move unprecedented by a former political leader, former political leader Howard has polished up his grin and signed with the Washington Speakers Bureau.

In so doing, he joins a line-up including such luminaries as Tony Snow, Chris Matthews, Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich.  (Mr Howard is the one just to the right of Rudy.)

MC Howard’s first engagement was with that august organisation, the Fox News of think tanks, the American Enterprise Institute.  Talk about preaching to the choir.

In a free plug, AEI foreign policy chief and strikingly attractive ideologue Danielle Pletka said Mr Howard’s election loss did not make him a less valuable speaker.

“Let me just remind people that Winston Churchill was also defeated. This is what happens in democracies – leaders are defeated,” Ms Pletka told ABC radio.  She might have added – and then they hit the circuit and talk about everything but why they were defeated. 

Ms Pletka gave no word on how much Churchill is charging for after-dinner anecdotes these days.  Suffice it to say that BabbelOn can imagine punters handing over their hard-earned to see Winnie propped there, cigar and snifter in one hand, leaning into the lecturn, gimlet eye fixed on the Exit sign over the side door.

With the greatest of respect, Sir Winston Churchill has to be more entertaining, dead for 40 years, than the newly invigorated John Winston Howard.  BabbelOn can already imagine the grinning ex-Kirribilli resident’s amusing and thought-provoking patter to a room full of nodding sycophants:

“Madame Speaker, it gives me very great pleasure to be here in Washington with you tonight.  As I was just saying to Dick Cheney, our two countries share a long and fullsome history of partnership in economic and military endeavours both overseas and at home.  In some circles it is seen as perjorative to be called a conservative.  Well I am proud, in humble sort of way, to be called a conservative.  The Liberal Party which I led in government for 11 years before leaving last year has a long and proud history of fiscally conservative, militarily strong, family oriented, outward-looking, um, safe in its own identity whilst recognising the ties that bind us to Britain and the other free democracies of the west, standing up to the very real threats of, um, extremism sort of place.  And in conclusion, I would just like to finish by saying that premature withdrawal from Iraq would deliver a victory to the terrorists and that cricket is like baseball but with fewer innings and Sir Donald Bradman.”

According to the WSB website, Mr Howard’s fee is not disclosed but is somewhere in the following range: 

1 = $1,000 – $7,500
2 = $7,501 – $10,000
3 = 10,001 – $15,000
4 = 15,001 – $25,000
5 = 25,001 – $40,000
6 = 40,001 & UP

BabbelOn strongly submits that anything less than UP would be deeply insulting to Australia and could be construed as an unfriendly act. 

To assist would-be clients, the WSB helpfully offers possible speech topics for Mr Howard.  One is entitled “Leadership in the New Century”. 

“Steering the ship of what is the most prominent (1.) Western stronghold in the Asian-Pacific Rim requires visionary and forward-thinking leadership (2.). Australian Prime Minister John Howard approached his responsibilities to his country from a uniquely global viewpoint (3.), providing economic vision (4.) and security strategies (5.) that raised Australia’s profile (6.) and impact around the world. Howard discusses the role of world leaders in a new century (7.), detailing steps for handling the growing concerns of globalization (8.) and global economics (9.), the environment (10.), and threats to international security (11.).”

  1.  and, with all due respect to New Zealand, the only
  2. ie leadership that is both visionary and able to look into the future
  3. down the bottom end there somewhere, near New Zealand
  4. tax cuts
  5. all the way with the USA!
  6. as a terrorist target
  7. ie the last one
  8. lower your tariffs until Mitsubishi leaves
  9. FTA with the USA!
  10. ha ha
  11. a commitment to putting x-ray machines in all airports by 2020

But of course it could be worse.  You could find yourself in a ballroom with 1,000 of your closest business associates and look up from your prawn cocktail to see Joe Thiesmann striding onstage to deliver “Game Plan For Success”:

“This dynamic presentation outlines the game plan that brought Joe Theismann success both on and off the football field. Former NFL MVP quarterback and Super Bowl champion, he reveals his Game Plan for Success by drawing parallels between winning in football and in business. Joe Theismann focuses on how to succeed under pressure — when it’s “4th and 1″ — and how to adapt quickly to unexpected situations — when you’re faced with a “blitz” instead of a “zone.” He urges individuals and organizations to set goals and correct errors each step of the way, an approach that builds momentum, which, once on your side, would be hard for even the best “defense” to stop!”

Nuclear power and tax cuts anyone?

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Ben Cousins Trophy #2

March 7, 2008

BabbelOn had been neglecting this blog with an attitude bordering on the sadistic.  No more.  The mental drain has been unblocked.

Ben Cousins Trophy

Round 3 – NRL 

As expected, the Mongos take the cake.  It took them a little longer to get into the swing of the pre-season but as usual they peaked at the right time, just when the NRL was looking for some positive PR before round 1.  In celebration of 100 years of Rugby League (that’s a hell of a lot of beer), the professional athletes of today put into the shadows those so-called hard drinking, hard hitting pansies of last century. 

A BCT nomination goes to Willie Mason for getting himself arrested for public urination.  It turned out that this was just the appetiser, as it were, to make sure we were all paying attention.  Once we had reacquainted ourselves with the shrinking violet that is Big Willie, it was time for the main event. 

Without further ado, and feeling slightly grubby, BabbelOn is proud to present the 2007/08 Ben Cousins Trophy to Jarryd Hayne and his mates for getting shot at at 4am in the Cross after a fight in McDonalds.

A special mention goes to Mark Gasnier who, according to his club, was definitely not with Hayne at the time.  Perish the thought.

Congratulations to Hayne.  This is State of Origin quality p***head behaviour and augurs well for the season proper. 

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Old Romantics

March 7, 2008

Watching back-to-back Duran Duran videos on a late-night music channel recently reminded BabbelOn that the 80’s was a long, long time ago (… one can still remember how that music used to make one cry.  But one digresses). 

The 80’s was a veritable cornucopia of big hair, bigger shoulder pads and pouting lipsticky lips, and that was just the bands.  The backing singers were more masculine than any of the chaps in front of them.  What were you all thinking? 

If Duran Duran were one of the leaders of the New Romantics movement, there must have been some very sad sights in the rank and file.  Here’s just one example.

But time heals all fashion wounds and here he is looking almost as cool as David Bowie, someone else who has had hair days he would probably rather forget. 

There’s no denying that Duran Duran’s tunes were catchy.  Just the mention of Girls on Film will have you humming it, and cursing BabbelOn, all day tomorrow.      

But what set them apart from the other pretty boys, and ensured their late-night cable TV immortality, were their videos.  Huge, sprawling, over-produced masterpieces of style over substance.  To their credit, these pretty boys tried to tell a story, usually one involving Simon Le Bon playing a spy rescuing a pretty girl in a trench coat from Nazis or jungle warriors armed with spears driving jeeps through the sand hills.  Actually BabbelOn could be confusing Notorious (No no notorious) with Union of the Snake.  No matter.  In every clip there is a snake or a big cat, a small child in a cage or an elevator and a bald headed black guy wearing camouflage paint. 

Those were the days.  They didn’t have to resort to soft-core pimp ‘n ho shows to sell records.  These artists had integrity.  Well, after Girls on Film anyway.  That was their one descent into sensationalism.  Even then they were ground-breaking, setting the stage for all the Madonnas and Sir Mixalots to follow.

Watching this Duran Duran special (Duran Duran Through the Years or somesuch) however, one cannot help the sneaking suspicion that all of the money went into production design and costume and makeup and special effects (see the giant animated wave crashing onto the audience in The Reflex.) 

With the benefit of hindsight, and with all due respect to the acting of “Bon, Simon Le Bon”, BabbelOn is forced to play the armchair critic and conclude that what stood between Duran Duran and cinematic art were the terrible scripts. 

BabbelOn doesn’t want to point the finger at whomsoever directed these mini-masterpieces (actually it was Russell Mulcahy) because, as all first year film students know and most Hollywood producers try to forget, you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s screenplay.  BabbelOn challenges Cecil B deMille himself to make a three minute epic out of the following:

Telegram force and ready I knew this was a big mistake
There’s a fine line drawing my senses together
And I think it’s about to break

If I listen close I can hear them singers oh-oh-oh
Voices in your body coming through on the radio-oh-oh

The union of the snake is on the climb
Moving up it’s gonna race it’s gonna break through the borderline

Nightshades on a warning give me strength at least give me a light
Give me anything even sympathy there’s a chance you could be right

If I listen close I can hear them singers oh-oh-oh
Voices in your body coming through on the radio-oh-oh

The union of the snake is on the climb
Moving up it’s gonna race it’s gonna break through the borderline

The union of the snake is on the climb
Moving up it’s gonna race it’s gonna break through the borderline

If I listen close I can hear them singers oh-oh-oh
Voices in your body coming through on the radio-oh-oh

The union of the snake is on the climb
Moving up it’s gonna race it’s gonna break through the borderline

etc etc etc

Duran Duran are still recording and touring.