Dear Parents
Here at Queenwood we pride ourselves on being at the cutting edge of educational reform. For that reason, I am pleased to announce that we are introducing the latest speech recognition technology as part of our IT program damn the spellchecker is probably still in US mode Annabelle do you know how to change the spelling thing to Australian spelling God I hate bill gates and how do you tell what you are dictating is coming out right I can’t see anything on the screen what do I do to start a new sentence just say new sentence OK thanks new sentence.
As you will all recall, we were the first school in Australia to ban the use of pens in the classroom in favour of laptops do I just say full stop huh OK full stop. This move has proved very popular with the girls and in our opinion helps them to learn the skills necessary to get ahead in todays competitive world just try to think of something to add here other than typing skills eg something brain function related we’re not a typing college new paragraph.
Following the successful trial of our PC only classrooms and a new remedial writing stream for girls looking to complete their HSC comma the bored and I decided that the thyme was write to move to the next level and remove the need for the girls to learn typing skills we’re not a bleeding typing college after all shit I better be careful this thing is probably writing all of this down new paragraph.
A couple of things for the girls to watch out four as they use the new system ha ha try to lighten it up a bit new sentence. First of all you must all remember to speak slowly and clearly as the software takes some time to get used to your voice fool stop.
Secondly comma or is it second eye can never remember that one try to keep the background noise and I don’t know why he couldn’t just call me first rather than writing that letter I think she’s in her office dictating something to her computer on the new voice recognition thingy oh sorry carmel I didn’t realise you could hear me I’ll just shut the door for Christ’s sake new paragraph.
Third or thirdly witch ever is correct don’t forget to always proof reed your work as no computer is even infallible not even the human computer that is yore brain new scent ends.
Plagiarism has unfortunately been won of the consequences of the increased use of computers and the internet is that capital eye Annabelle can you check that pleas eye don’t trust the spellchecker and this has to be perfect you know how anal some of the parents are especially all those arse whole lawyers who think they no everything and will probably tell me first chance they get how they’ve had voice recognition soft wear at their firms for years I thought they all had secretaries that reminds me of the joke about the lawyer who used his dick to phone that’s one joke they’ll never let me tell at the ball more’s the pity new paragraph.
This thing is getting a bit long Annabelle are you there can you hear me turn that ipod off it’ll rot your brain oh there you are I was just saying can you check this four me eye want it to go out tomorrow to the parents OK do you no how to turn it off no its seven o’clock I have to run to a bored meeting can you just check this before it goes out and put something at the bottom like dictated but not read by me and using our new speech recognition soft wear and make sure the bloody spell chequer is switched on I’ll just finish this thing off and get going thanks your a sweety put my name at the bottom here I’ll just right down my number if you need to call me if nun of this makes sense eye hate all this new technology give me a black bored any day ha ha see you who does she think she is I’m not her effing secretary this can wait till Jill gets in I’m out of hear
