Archive for November, 2008

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Tatts Lotto

November 19, 2008

The girl serving in the book shop has a diamond tattoo on the middle finger on her left hand, just below the top knuckle.  About where a real ring would sit.  It is only a blue outline but it looks to be at least two carats and has little radiating exclamation marks to show how sparkly it is. 

Someone must love her a lot to pay for a tattoo like that. 

As it is not on her ring finger, perhaps it is a friendship tattoo, or maybe an eternity one.  After all, nothing says eternity like a tattoo.  Not even the funeral parlour can undo what the tattoo parlour has wrought.  (The crematorium, on the other hand, has the final laugh.)

Perhaps she is saving her ring finger for a wedding tattoo, maybe a simple blue ink band, or one with her lover’s name in it.  For the wedding, she will also choose earring tattoos, perhaps a solitaire, or something tribal.  Around her neck will be a formal tattoo, echoing the antique jewellery worn by her grandmother. 

Her boyfriend wanted to give her a Cartier watch tattoo (the classic Tank model) but she laughed and called him a creep.  She is not yet ready for that kind of commitment, and opted for a Casio Baby-G tattoo instead. 

In the street, two girlfriends walk and talk.  One has “CARPE DIEM” tattooed down the back of her left calf.  She also has some colour on her upper left arm, not quite a half sleeve.  Some black ink curls out from the neck of her frock.  Her friend has less body art but does have a startlingly large one on the side of her right lower leg.  It appears to be an animal, perhaps a tiger or a crouching dragon?  They walk and talk and seem proud of their bodies, showing off their tattoos.  Seizing the day and marking it.      

Entering the building, the tall blonde has some fine Japanese lettering on the back of her neck.  Black, spidery kanji.  What does it say?  Carpe diem?  It looks classy, like something Angelina Jolie would have on the back of her neck.  

The woman in the fruit and vegetable market has three numbers tattooed on the inside of her left forearm.  They could be the birth dates of her offspring.  Permanent reminders of the temporary insanity wrought by children.  These tattoos are also reminiscent of Ms Jolie’s.  In Angelina’s case they represent the latitude and longitude of her children’s places of birth.  Or is it their places of adoption?  In any case, these are the tattoos of a wealthy woman who wants to remind people of the fact.  The fruit market woman is just happy to think of her kids whenever she reaches for a plastic bag or gives a customer his change.  

The executive at the bus stop has a small blue and yellow bird tattooed above her right ankle.  It only comes out in summer when she wears a skirt and strappy shoes.  It is as though it migrates for the winter.  The bird speaks of an earlier time, when life was simpler and dress choices didn’t involve suits and scarves and briefcases.  Her bird is trained now, it just sits there quietly, not making a sound or a flutter.  Riding on the bus with her to the city.

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The Chemtrails Conspiracy

November 17, 2008

“Para” – from the Greek, meaning beyond.  “Noid” – from the Greek “noos”, meaning mind. 

BabbelOn has not been kidnapped by aliens but it feels like it. 

Having returned to the virtual world, BabbelOn can reveal that not only do chemtrails exist, their existence has been documented by concerned citizen scientists* all over the world.   

Readers with strong constitutions can see for themselves, thanks to the helpfully titled “Educate Yourself” web-site.  A summary of the awful truth is as follows:

What some people had dismissed as mere “jet plane exhaust” (because there are now scores of internet propaganda web sites trying to convince you that ‘everything is well’ and ‘there’s nothing to be alarmed about’ and that unaccountable ‘jet plane exhaust’  plumes are magically being converted into horizon-to-horizon overcasts of “cirrus clouds”!) are dismayed to realize that chemtrails are indeed the toxin-laden aerosols that have been described here and at other web sites since 1998 and they are not being sprayed for any benign or national security reason as the disinformation peddlers would have you believe.

*Or perhaps scientologists

BabbelOn is not making this up.  Fortunately, there is a solution (although it does have some barium in it).  For those who do not want to put their trust in sylphs or prayer alone, there are a number of practical and very reasonably priced “chembusters” available for purchase for as little as $515 (plus postage). 

Reader/citizens prepared to put on their tinfoil hats can also discover the unvarnished truth about aliens (a hoax designed by the Illuminati as part of their plot to create a New World Order), AIDS (with ebola, a bio-engineered disease to control the world’s population; again part of the NWO plot) and who was really behind 9/11 (Zionists). 

The brave benefactor behind the Educate Yourself web-site is one Ken Adachi.  He has been active in the paranoos sphere for some years and is busy on his site, blogging and responding to letters from fellow travellers (not all of whom appear insane) and doing radio interviews. 

But here’s the thing that has been keeping BabbelOn awake at night and worrying about losing his noos. 

According to Wikipedia, Ken Adachi

is a Canadian writer and literary critic who was born in 1929 to Japanese immigrants in Vancouver.  Adachi was interned with his family during World War II.  Following the end of the war, Adachi became editor of the New Canadian, and studied English literature at the University of Toronto. 

So far so normal.

He then joined the Toronto Star in 1972 as a copy editor, rising to become editor of the books section in 1976.  That same year, he also published the book “The Enemy That Never Was”, a history of the Japanese Canadian community which was hailed as the definitive book on Japanese history in Canada.

Good for you Ken.  But then a cloud (or was it a chemtrail?) appeared on his horizon. 

Adachi was fired from his position with the Star in 1981 after a plagiarism accusation, although he was soon rehired as a book reviewer and literary columnist.  He remained associated with the Star until 1989, when … 

Cue cellos and sound effects of wind howling through giant aerials …

… after a second accusation that he had plagiarized three paragraphs from a 1982 book review in TIME … he committed suicide.

That’s right, according to the well spring of virtual truth, the Wiki-rock upon which all other sites are built, the father of Educate Yourself topped himself in 1989.  That is not only before chemtrails were first documented but before the INTERNET had been invented. 

After several strong cups of Irish Breakfast and a packet of chocolate coated prunes, BabbelOn has been able to return to the keyboard, albeit wearing a goosebump coat. 

This revelation can mean one of a number of things.  First (or is it firstly?) Ken Adachi faked his suicide in order to continue his works untroubled by the New World Order.  In which case – Brave, brave Ken.   

Second, he was actually taken by aliens (possibly thetans) who opened his mind to the truth which he now shares with the rest of us free of charge (postage not included).  In that case – Wise, brave Ken. 

Thirdly, and most terrifyingly, Wikipedia itself is part of the conspiracy to discredit Ken.  If this is indeed the case, then we are in a lot more trouble than even Ken is telling us. 

Fellow webizens, in these desperate times, BabbelOn can only offer the following advice: plug in your chembuster, buckle up your chakras and remember, only the paranoos survive.