You Say Potato

To commemorate Part 3 of The Howard Years (in which John Howard visits Washington on the 10th of September 2001 and gets himself invited to the War on Terror) and as we count down the days until George W mountain bikes off into the sunset, BabbelOn presents a musical tribute to the ANZUS treaty. 

You say biscuit, I say cookie
You say first year, I say rookie
“Biscuit” “cookie”, “first year” “rookie”
Let’s call the whole thing off

I eat sweets and you eat candy
To me it’s fine, for you it’s dandy
Oh let’s call the whole thing off 

You say donkey I say ass
Your’s use petrol, ours take gas

You drink soft drinks not soda pop
What’s a sailboat? It’s a yacht
Let’s call the whole thing off

I say bucket you say pail
You say prison, I spell it ”gaol”
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say boot I say trunk
To you he’s a kid, to me he’s a punk

I say coupe you say coup
I say doorstep, you say stoop
Let’s call the whole thing off

You spread jam, we spread jelly
I watch TV, you watch telly

We call it autumn, you have a fall
I say shopping centre, you call it a mall

He’s your mate, he’s my pal
She’s your girl, she’s my gal
Let’s call the whole thing off

We use the footpath you use a sidewalk
Our cricketers sledge, they never trash-talk
Let’s call the whole thing off

Golf’s not a noun, it’s a verb
You pull up to the gutter, I park at the kerb
Oh let’s call the whole thing off

He’s your dad not your pa
By the way it’s bitumen not tar

It’s a bag not a purse
You might swear we just curse
We get angry, never pissed
If we’re insulted never dissed
Let’s call the whole thing off

Why say anaesthesiologist?  Anaesthetist is quicker
I wear a raincoat, you wear a slicker

You spend 5 cents, I spend a nickle
You eat a gherkin, I eat a pickle

Your boofy blokes are faggy guys
Eating chips not freedom fries
Let’s call the whole thing off

He’s an agent not a realtor
You can’t make coffee with a filter!

You mow the lawn, we cut the grass
Don’t chat her up, make a pass
Let’s call the whole thing off

It’s a mobile not a cell
Don’t say “Jesus Christ” say “bloody hell”

You say g-string, I say thong
Some of your words are just plain wrong

You drive a ute, I drive a truck
I say shoot, you say bad luck

I say cheque you say check
You say kiss, I say peck

Please don’t write me, I’m not a letter
I’m not being pedantic, it just sounds better

Let’s have a holiday, we need a vacation
Let’s call the whole thing off