BabbelOn

BabbelOn salutes Paul Howes, heroic defender of workers’ rights and rising star of the labour movement.  He was, until quite recently, one of the faceless men* who took time out of their busy lives (do faceless men Facebook?) to remove the ex-Prime Minister.

Not that BabbelOn judges them too harshly for this.  In BabbelOn’s eyes, it was more an act of mercy, akin to what Geena Davis did to the moose hit by her car in The Long Kiss Goodnight.  Grab it by the antlers and give it a quick twist.  Problem solved. 

Howes became faced (is that the antonym for faceless?) during the subsequent election.  Most notably he appeared on election night on the Sky News coverage, confidently (arrogantly?) putting the Labor case as though he was its architect.  BabbelOn preferred the old days, when the union bosses* kept a low profile and the Party pretended that it was running the show.  With the rise of the NSW Right*, the pretence is gone, the gloves are off and the factional heavyweights* have no qualms about being seen to run the farm. 

But BabbelOn digresses.  What intrigues about Howes is his uncanny likeness to a magical creature, a Harry Potter shape-shifting wizard.  An animagus. 

One Peter Pettigrew to be precise. 

According to the official guide:

Animagi can only take on the form of one specific animal. This animal form is not chosen by the wizard, but determined by their personality and inner traits. Thus, one’s Animagus form is a reflection of one’s inner nature.

Peter Pettigrew’s animagus form is, of course, a rat. 

Fortunately, Howes is able to take on human form long enough to appear on television.

Although occasionally, when under pressure, his rodent form can be seen slipping through.  On election night, on hearing that Maxine McKew had lost her seat and had taken a shot at the party machine*, he said acidly:

She has lost and done exactly what I knew she would

Turns out that Maxine hadn’t taken kindly to Paul’s offers of campaigning assistance. 

In the week following the dumping of Mr Rudd — whose support among Bennelong’s Asian community had helped her get elected in 2007 — Ms McKew made no secret of her disgust at the actions of “brutish” faction chiefs and union bosses — including Australian Workers Union boss Paul Howes, who announced Mr Rudd’s demise on ABC TV before caucus considered the leadership.

Her anger boiled over after the election was announced, when a volunteer turned up in Bennelong wearing an AWU T-shirt.

Maxine’s animagus form would be a boar. 

Graham Richardson, that eminence gris of the Labor Party, would surely be a phoenix.  Five years ago his reputation was in ashes, a bit like the Alpine Offset factory.  Investigated by ASIC (including for perjury) over his Swiss bank accounts (what accounts?) an audit by the ATO (they always get their man) and the tawdry demise of his one-time business partner Rene Rifkin had made the ex-Mayor of the Olympic village look more like the village outcast. 

Now he appears, without an ankle bracelet, on Q&A.  With Paul Howes. 

Howes most recent pronouncement was to support Kristina Keneally’s push for a special deal with the unions over the Barangaroo development. 

“Keneally is right . . . to defend her state’s laws because her state has the best OH&S standards.”

Best that is if:

in the case of workplace accidents employers are presumed guilty of negligence unless they can prove otherwise and third parties such as unions can launch legal action against employers and retain half of the damages.

Keneally needs to get any deal done quickly because in March 2011 she will be reverting to her animagus.  Cute.  Furry.  Sweet-natured.  Roadkill. 

* Phrases that BabbelOn does not want to type, read or hear ever again.