Carn Julia
As a long-suffering Australian, BabbelOn has become used to our PM’s drawl.
She can stretch a phrase like an old inner tube until the vowels are flattened (or, rather, fladdened) beyond recognition. Juuulia can take three little words (for instance ”moving Australia forward”) and make them sound like a Gregorian chant, without the melody.
The result on the listener is the sonic equivalent of a blowfly banging against a window.
However, a new low was reached, in BabbelOn’s opinion, when the PM announced recently that she would be giving the Europeans some strong economic advice at the upcoming G20 meeting in Carns. Yes, Carns. As in Carns, Frans. Where they hold the film festival? You know, CARNS.
To be fair, Cannes is one of those places with a somewhat elastic pronunciation. BabbelOn has heard it called “Cans” (ironically by a tour guide when explaining how the locals pronounced “Cairns”), ”Can” and “Carn” (the latter is probably correct). But ”Carns” was a new one.
Surely she has never heard anyone else call it that? Surely even “Aussie” Doug Cameron would have a crack at getting it right?
It was almost like the PM saw it coming on the teleprompter and decided on the spot; “I can’t say Cannes, it sounds too posh and educated and un-working class. I’ll just add the “s” on the end so no-one can accuse me of being a snob. I mean how many Australians can speak French? Not even Greg Combet I’ll bet.”
BabbelOn can imagine the impact on the waiting EU Finance Ministers. What an impressive woman this Gillard is. We’ll certainly be taking seriously anything she has to say to us next week in … CARNS!!! (Insert muttering and guffawing in various languages.)
Julia’s stocks subsequently rose, however, when her words (or, rather, werds) were followed by vision of our Foreign Minister greeting some dignitaries. His claw-like yet wet handshake, clasping his victim’s fingers, a couple of jocular pats with the other hand, reminded BabbelOn what a prissy, unpleasant fellow he (Rudd) is.
The PM’s shake by comparison is top-drawer, straight into the palm, non-nonsense couple of up and down pumps, no ancillary patting or Bob Hawke arm-grabbing. It makes BabbelOn think that between them, Gillard and Rudd nearly add up to one complete politician.
